What It Means to Choose Joy

Everyone wants a slice of happiness.

If I had a nicer car, I would be happy.

If I had more money, I would be happy.

If I were in a relationship, I would be happy.

Like most people, I am guilty of wishing for happiness too. Growing up, I remember going through periods where I would be so unhappy with my life. And a part of me didn’t even know why I felt that way.

During those times, I always wished–and prayed–for happiness. Of course, my life wasn’t completely bleak; I did have some bouts of happy memories. However, the thing is, those moments passed in the blink of an eye. And if I’m being honest, it’s hard to remember them too.

Why is it always easier to recall sadness?

I think it’s because sadness lingers; it digs itself deep underneath the skin, seeping into veins and planting roots in our souls. And you know what? Sadness is exhausting. I get tired of crying and feeling like the world is over. Don’t you?

Over the years, I’ve struggled to deal with happiness and sadness. They’re quite the opposite emotions, and I didn’t know how to find a balance…or if there even was a balance at all. In the depths of teetering this fine line, I discovered joy. Well, I didn’t really discover it–after all, it’s been around forever–but I did finally learn to choose it.

I guess I should explain what joy is. You’re probably thinking, aren’t happiness and joy the same thing? Surprisingly, they’re not. They couldn’t be more different from one another. By definition, joy means a feeling of great pleasure. I agree that it is “great pleasure;” but I also think that it’s more than that.

Unlike happiness, joy can be felt all the time–even in the midst of sadness. Because you can be sad and find joy in the same situation.

For example, my grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in May 2018. Her chances of surviving were slim since that type of cancer is rare and difficult to treat. So, my family and I knew that we didn’t have much time with her. In November of that same year, she passed away. It was a type of brokenness we had never felt before. And we were no strangers to brokeness.

Seeing my grandmother slowly lose her battle with cancer was one of the most excruciating things I’ve ever had to witness. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. Although I miss her so much, she was in so much pain.

After her passing, instead of dwelling in my sadness, I prayed for joy. My grandmother meant the world to me, and it breaks my heart that she’s missed much of my life this last year and a half–especially my college graduation. Reality is she’s going to be absent from so much more of my life, and I can’t even begin to fathom those thoughts. However, the simple truth is that she is no longer in pain.

My grandmother was a super religious, spiritual woman–a lover of God and praised Him in everything she did. All she wanted to do was go to Heaven someday, and she did.

Choosing joy doesn’t mean forgetting about your sorrow; it means that we learn to make the most of our situations. We learn to see the light at the end of a tunnel–not just focusing on how dark the tunnel is. Yes, the tunnel is probably terrifying; nonetheless, there’s hope–and something so much better–at the end of the darkness.

Happiness is fleeting, but joy lasts an eternity.

“I will sing of Your mercy, that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy.”

– Jars of Clay