Too often am I guilty of preaching self-love without practicing it myself.
Even though it sounds naive, I thought I had self-love figured out a while ago. I think the first time I began to feel somewhat comfortable in my own skin was in college. During this time, I started figuring out my style and finally grew into my features a bit. Slowly, I felt less and less like the awkward teenager I used to be. Unfortunately, all of this growth plummeted during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020.
Like many people, I got tired of myself during the pandemic. I talk a little bit about it in a previous post, but I think the newfound hyper-criticalness stemmed from the fact that I really had nothing better to do for three months.
My mental health was struggling. Not only that, my skin was breaking out. And my sleep schedule was nonexistent.
Everything was just bad.
And over the last two years, I feel like I am still stuck in that 2020 COVID-19 pandemic mindset.
As I enter my mid-twenties, which is terrifying in itself, I am realizing a few things:
1. The Journey of Self-Love Is Not Linear.
In fact, there are peaks and valleys; many highs and lows. There are days I feel infinitely vain, and others when I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror. But one of the things I try to remind myself is that my body is continuously changing and I should not be so hard on myself. Furthermore, not only is self-love not linear…
2. There Is Also No Right Way To Go About It.
This journey is different for everyone; what works for someone else might not work for you. I used to think that many things were one-size-fits-all; when in reality, one-size doesn’t fit most. And that is perfectly okay. In fact, expressions of self-love don’t need to be physical…
3. Self-Love Can Bloom From Within As Well.
I think one of my biggest breakthroughs this year has been sticking up for myself.
To make a long story short–though I want to write more about this topic in the future–I’ve always been a push-over. Not only that, but I’ve always felt the need to put others before myself. This mainly stems from the fact that I’ve always been the “good child,” and I’ve always done what people expect of me.
Admittedly, there is a nobility to selflessness; it feels good to put others before yourself. However, what happens when it gets overwhelming? When you become burnt out? This can be so detrimental to self-love. I’ve been there before and it’s the most terrible feeling–as if you, and what you’re doing, are not enough.
I don’t mean forget about everyone else and be completely selfish. I mean, don’t cripple yourself at the expense of someone else. It’s okay to voice your needs. It’s okay to make your own choices.
You can choose joy.
